I think when I run. Today I realized that I hadn't written about reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, which is a pretty big accomplishment, 1200 pages steeped in the history of the Soviet Union and a dystopic view of the future and the path society seems to be but should not take. But, the book isn't totally dystopic it is a book of hope, or was for the people of the Soviet Union. I didn't realize that Ayn Rand was Russian. I didn't read the forward, because I rarely do..when I read I dive into the novel and to hell with whatever interesting background tidbits the author wants to share. I jokingly said " why would anyone not in the 19th century would write a book like Atlas Shrugged." But, later found out that Rand was, indeed Russian.
Perhaps not as readable as Tolstoy, some of the characters lack the depth. There is passion but the love stories seem a little unrealistic (but hey I like them) Dagny loves three men and ultimately the most powerful man in the world. The one who can stop the motor. It was a fascinating look at the worst parts of our society. Had I sat with a highlighter while I read (I was fighting of muscle cramps from holding it open)..I would have marked it thoroughly. It is a book where you watch the "winners" in society slowly be drug down in the ditch and broken down by the jealous government and the mentality of looters..looting the successful taking what is theirs that they achieved through their abilities and making it everyones.
In 2010 I see a mentality jealousy, class warfare that is saddening, the haves and the have nots (yet the have nots have it better than any other generation). I suppose it is human nature to envy those who have more. It is human nature to want more than others. We can not escape the nature of the beast. We are only what are genetics allow us to be. We are limited by our mental acuity, our IQ and our God given gifts and talents. I realize not everyone is equal, but sometimes a genius has fewer people skills than someone who is mentally retarded, we all have our good points.
What I love about Rand is she glorifies the Individual. She's Atheistic. I am not. I believe in a higher power but I also believe in Reincarnation. I believe in Carl Jungs theory of Synchronicity, I believe in mysticism and the other realm of being. I am more of a deist, but I believe in the power of the Individual. I do not believe in collective salvation. I do not feel I am responsible for those in society who do not care to life them self above their situations. I can feel sympathy and do. But I do not feel that it is my plight. I am a believer in the American spirit.
Part of some of my major issues with the health care legislation is we have opened a whole new can of worms for societal legislation on food. Prior to the health care act we were listening to the pundits constantly preaching about the "Obesity Crises" and there are probably 50 television shows about dieting. I see so much of our societal problems as a crises of the individual. Not a crises of obesity, healthcare...it is a problem of one. The problem is you. The problem is your motivation the problem is what you feel society owes you. The world doesn't owe you, nor do you owe the world. You owe yourself.
I digress back to running. I have never been a fan of contact sports. I am not a fan of "watching sports" I wonder how much money our society spends watching sports. Apparently they are so important that cities provide great tax breaks to these games. That congress wastes my precious tax payer dollars to have hearings over sports. Where I heard on the news last week a pundit saying the Government does have a vested interest in professional football... WTF I say.. WTF. If the Government feels that they should have oversight into professional sports of course they feel they have the right to regulate me to death. The government has a vested interest in protecting me from invaders from other countries, that is all.
Running... is a sport for Individuals. Women it seems, by observation and from friends are driven by peer pressure to exercise. They have gyms for women only so men don't see them exercise (silly). They have aerobics, Zumbaa, pole dancing or whatever....I know women who want to walk or run but won't do it alone. Women, apparently travel in packs.
I run because it makes me a better person. I'm forever grateful to the person who introduced me to it. I began because I wanted to lose weight because I wasn't happy with who I was. I kept at it until it became a part of me.
I can sit around and make excuses for myself but when the clock rolls around to the time that I go run..I know that I must get up and get dressed and go out. I whine and complain if its cold. I over dress...I pile on the fleece and a half a mile down the road in the ditch it goes.
I was running tonight and a man with a broken down truck said to me "Its too cold to run." Its never too cold to run. Noting my shorts and leggings - I didn't think it was cold enough. Cold is water freezing in your bottle. Cold is not 50 degrees. But, I had a good run and was thinking about why it is nice being able to go alone, and not needing anyone to help you exercise.
Running has changed my perceptions of what is normal. To me a three mile run is a copout and I can do more. To me... if I don't get outside and get that sunshine I get depressed. Today was the first day I went out in a week. I find the anxiety creeps up on me and chokes me ... I get moody and restless but if I go run, I feel the calm as the endorphins rush in and create that rush.
I know so many in our society are chasing their own demons, if the drug war in Mexico is any evidence many Americans are battling their acedia with illicit drugs, and many more are battling it with Alcohol, while there are those who chase religion and hopes of a better afterlife.
People worship athletic figures, people drive their children to exhaustion praying their little prodigy will be a great athlete. Nothing annoys me more than seeing a 300 pound parent in the stands at a game screaming advice at their child about playing "the game."
Personal responsibility, individualism..the desire to be a better me..thats why I run. I don't ever want to be in a place where I need alcohol to cope, where I am driven to the dark edge of the abyss to my own personal insanity. Running helps me cope with being me.
This is one of my favorite songs..about the individual. Freedom puts my faith in none of the above.
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