Just Another Day With Me

The Secrets of the Crystal Crotch

According to Vajazzling.com   Vajazzling: The act of applying glitter and jewels to a woman's nether regions for aesthetic purposes. I ran across this  Great Blog About Vajazzling last night and was further creeped out.  Now, I hadn't thought of Vajazzling much lately, but I had heard of it, hadn't given it much thought.  I was folding laundry and halfway watching one of those "stupid people from New Jersey shows" a couple of weeks ago, and there was a little princess going on a first date and she had to go get "Vajazzled."  I, not being the type to let any stranger with a jar of wax come near my unmentionable region -was a little floored that this is a topic on television, much less that people in any great amount of numbers are doing it.  There must be some cultural obsession among certain circles of ladies about having your hair done, and not the hair on your head.   

 Personally, the thought of a manicurist touching my hands creeps me out, so you know that I would never consider the secret pleasures that await from having my unmentionables glammed up like a bejeweled handbag from 1976.  

Part of me is laughing at these women, who not only will go pay money to have strangers pour hot wax on their private area and strip it off, but then to know they are following it up with crystals slathered in glue.  I hate to be a country hick but it doesn't interest me whatsoever.   *It sounds itchy too.  

In a way this obsession with hairlessness seems childish, and creepy.  It almost has the feel of wanting to look like a child.  It is disturbing.   Not that I'm on the pro-granola crunching team of women saying don't shave your pits  or legs, not at all.  I just feel that women in our society are under so much pressure to be pretty that we have taken it to a whole new level.  What will they find to do next.  

What will culture find to market to women next?  There is already a select group that only feel that they can be happy from carrying around $500 purses and driving the best cars.  Television networks have show after show devoted to telling women they aren't good enough.  Look at the "keeping up with the Joneses" attitudes on the "Real Housewives" shows.  We have shows telling women they are too fat and must lose weight to be pretty.  There are shows about fashion and how not to dress.  So much time, money and energy promoted to  help women tear each other down or making each other look ridiculous .  We are our own worst enemy.  It doesn't help that we also have the "Frenemy" atmosphere.  

I am not sure what this new "trend" says about the males in our society, or whether they like or dislike shiny sparklies glued on their ladies,  I would guess to say they probably don't care as long as they have access to it.  So ladies, if you want to create a new industry of crotch decorators (hey in this economy maybe it IS a good thing) go ahead.  But just maybe you should just take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself is it really that important to look like a discoball down below?  

You probably know more about me than you'd like to know now, especially about the fact that the only thing that sparkles on me is my diamond rings.   So ladies, just say no to the crystal crotch (or at least keep it a secret, I've already found too many pictures on the web).  I hate to tell you this but its not pretty.  Sorry.     

Awake

I'm awake.  But, I'm sitting next to my bed thinking, "not for long".....I think its time for a 9-10 nap, then up again for some important laundry and housework.   

Poorly Dressed <---wrong on so many levels I can't begin to describe. I look at this webpage and immediately imagine that some of these folks need a full battery of intelligence/pscho emotional testing to root out the disorders that cause them to choose the clothing that they do.  Then I think, hey  its not fair all it seems to do is make fun of 1. Fat People 2. Gay/Transgender people 3. Ladies of the night (and day or the ones who volunteer it for free)   and that is so wrong.  But then, the little evil side of me looks at these people and think they are merely wanting the attention from how they dress and of course the angel in me says freedom of expression is good, right.  But then I think freedom of expression is GREAT because I get to laugh at these fools for wearing what they do.  Oh the slippery slope that is political correctness.............. sorry...  I still cringe and laugh when I am viewing these images. 

  

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Shave IT!

Unshaven Women....  My take on un-shaven women...

SHAVE IT... but I guess I really have no deeply personal issues with it as far as other women go.  

Really though...  shave it!   

yeah, the iPod is charged... time to go.  This post qualifies as fashion.... its fashionable to shave your smelly pits... ladies...  please. 

Is Incognito

 I am questioning my new 'do.  Now, I like it, but it just doesn't quite feel like me,  so I was experimenting with my camera (since its - you know...snowing outside).  Total vanity post...eh, but I'm allowed, right? Incognito... It doesn't seem like me, or look like "me" its so strange.    

ahhhaa.... this pictures looks like one my teenager would take, but I guess.... maybe thats what my hair should've looked like WHEN I was a teenager!  HA...as I had always colored it blonde...  It really does make me feel like I look old....  Do I look old?  Is it just my perception.  

*note long spidery fingers... dx criteria for Marfan's syndrome.  Note awesome camera- but not so for self photography because its heavy and it takes such highly detailed pictures that I don't like the detail... prefer lower resolution just for pics of me.  HA!   
ah, wrinkled forehead...and Pikachu towel on the floor...   LOL!  OK, well I'm still debating my hair, but I won't have the super dark roots next time around.  I will probably get it highlighted again, but not platinum.   Perhaps I needed a change like this. Something totally different.  This has certainly been quite a year.    

   

Brown!

So, I spent the afternoon getting my hair done.  I had it colored, brown (which is somewhere around what its natural color is).   So, I posted before pictures a couple of days ago.  I've had it blonde oh, for about six years.  So it is time for a change, still not totally sure of having it this dark but here it is.  

 

The Dilemma

My hair.   Blonde or closer to my natural brown color....well not my natural brown color, god gave me,  mousy hair- ewww- yuck.   Fine if you are a guy, not so fine if you are me.    So, I am sitting here eating Cadbury eggs home all alone right now.  Aren't I lucky; time home alone.I must add that Cadbury eggs are awesome...  sugar coated with really good chocolate in the middle.   Good. 

Ok -back to my hair, I'm going to get my hair done on Thursday.  I may go drastically different...  Perhaps, if I have the balls to do it,  well of course I don't have balls but if I did it would take them to get rid of my long, golden locks.   I am researching right now.   I don't do all over color, I've normally done highlights.   I only get my hair done twice  a year because its a pain in the ass, which is why my natural color would be fine. BUT, I like my hair blonde... Its like, me.  SOooooooo  I do not know what I"m going to do.  I'm nervous.   So this is me today...and I figured I need to keep it long because I don't want my hair in my face when I run so I may just get it colored but -  going darker...hmm....   What to do, this is a pressing problem as my appointment has been made.   I would like to do very different because I have not, but I don't want that short butch kind of look.   No,  I'm picky.  Long and straight has always worked for me.  Hmmmm....  Oh,  man... I don't know if I can do a drastic change...  I am thinking dark brown...   I really want something very different...  :-D  we will see.  I"m kind of excited.  We shall see if I follow through, I lack confidence and creativity when it comes to getting my hair done.   

I don't think I can do short....  I think it may have to be brown.  LOL!  The first picture is today..this morning in my old decrepit age....    

 
When my hair was closer to its real color..April 07 apparently... hmm three years ago....  so old. I was in my 20s then.. (barely) lol!   I was 29 in this picture.  I will be 33 this year.  So old. 

August of 05 it was brown... darker...  it washed out fairly quick I think... Hmm,  Looking back the pics look ok, I felt very "blah" when I was there and it was so dark.  

OK so this was totally a vanity post...perhaps my before pictures, we shall see what I do with the "do"  I hope I can go different, <grin>  excited....    

  

Jonesing For a "Fix"

This morning right away (well as soon as I had the opportunity) I contacted the State of Kansas, regarding the absolutely incorrect tax bill that sent me into hysterics yesterday.  But, despite the nasty we will "confiscate your children" and take away your paychecks letter, their advocate was very friendly and helpful and that $1100 bill was soon reduced to what it should have been, under $100,  I can handle that,  whatever mistake it may have been.  

 I had then had a little "talking to"  well, texting to, who else but my Mom, regarding my "Ex" situation,  or more or less that he wasn't trying to take advantage of me and crawl back into my bed, and any crawling back into my bed is, well, invited.   Because after all, I agreed with him that I was not going to pick up random men (wait, I HAVE never picked up men), and being excessively shy I would NOT pick up men, and well, I have no one to go bar hopping with so I won't be meeting men their either.  I also told her that no matter what I still love him, and I still love her so their war must end.  They can not like each other, but when they put me in the middle it is I who gets hurt. I do love them both (obviously) how can you not love your Mother who is your next door neighbor, and the man you've spent your entire adult life with every day. 

Oh, my computer at work crashed, and I thought I lost a few years worth of work and documents, and I seriously did email tech support and thought, well if I can't fix it - its somewhat hopeless because I'm not a bad tech geek myself.  But, I did a system restore and sighed a huge sigh of relief when it came back to life.  

And, I almost forgot;  I blogged the other night and I hurt my "ex"'s (note quotation marks and note that the divorce paperwork is still not filled out and on my desk)  feelings, pretty bad, unintentionally, and he reads it, of course perhaps blanket stereotyping all men as stupid maybe wasn't so nice, but aren't they?   And I want to apologize I wasn't even talking about him.  My life has grown quite confusing with emotionally dealing with not just one man, but two.  So, now I'm back to one man.   I suppose you could say I've dealt with three men in my head and heart in the last year...?  WOW, for never having a real affair I sound like quite the little tramp.   Whats that Elvis song... "a little less conversation, a little more action"...  well, mine was all conversations, no action.   Is it an Elvis song?   I don't know my Elvis.   Oh, and all the action was to the Husband's benefit anyways.   

So by this afternoon after a thirty minute phone call with Verizon to lower a obscene cell phone bill (umm partly due to me, ice storm, teenage daughter and a split up in the marriage)-  I got it lowered by $200.   Its still obscene, but its better than it was and considering I lowered a 1000 bill to a 69 dollar bill I think I've done well today in working with people who want in my checking account.  Oh, so back to this afternoon.  This morning as the stress was building, and having not yet recovered from last night's meltdown I had those feelings come over me... that "craving" feeling.  Yeah, I knew what I needed, and wanted... Oh, baby.  Yeah, I needed to go to the "makeup store" .... oh, my vice and sin of sins... lusting after pretty shades, colors and cosmetics.   I didn't need any makeup, but I went anyways.   

My purpose was to go to Toys R Us and look for Sonic Toys for the Baby's birthday Saturday, but since Toys R Us is right next door to Ulta (makeup store) and Barnes and Noble (books, my second addiction).  I took my little obsessive compulsive self in Ulta first, now,  I never go in Ulta first, so I knew it was a bad night.  I currently love Urban Decay Cosmetics, I love their eyeliners, the BEST liners hands down that I've found anywhere.  27/7 Liners, by far the best liners.   So, I took care of my addiction, and I know its silly, something I could have lived without and I don't buy anywhere near as much makeup as I used to (why-I don't need to, I have loads of makeup).   I do love certain products.   But, afterwards I feel kind of silly.   I did go look at clothes in the mall, pick up some birthday gifts,  looking at clothes, well, my closet is pretty much filled, so I really don't need a lot anymore.  

OK, so tomorrow should be a good day.  I have a new eyeliner called oil slick, I replaced my near empty bottle of Givenchy Absolutely Irresistible, perfume (I should be good on the perfume until summer) with one called Marc Jacob's Daisy, which is a spring floral scent (and I love it, it is a lovely perfume).  

Now, I'm going to go to bed and go read.   I'm feeling better, I think I have been ill part of this week.  Not sick enough to be "home sick" but haven't felt right, and have been achey and tired.   Now, I'm feeling more like myself.   Maybe, I will have a week without some major emotional upset or trauma, it would be nice to hope for that, wouldn't it? I'd also like a week without furnace or appliance drama or economic hardship.   

Goodnight my friends, enemies, family, nosey people, or whoever may surf in and lurk a while on my blog.  Lurk away... there is nobody but me in here...    

The Official Tattoo Post

My opinion on Tattoos is apparently not as enlightened and as cool as many people I know.  I have a couple of friends who love getting "tats"  now, I respect them for their love of being "inked" but, I don't play into this fad.   I don't think there is anything that I want permanently on my body. Just the thought of explaining to the nursing home employees the profound meaning of the dolhin on my ankle makes me cringe.  That was an example there is no dolphin on my ankle.  I am tattoo free.

I guess I can't imagine what would strike me as so damn important that I run into town and say I must have sparkly looking stars across my ass?  Or I desperately need a tattoo of Strawberry Shortcake across my back.   Maybe I really, really have a deep desire to have a naked woman tattooed on my thigh.  Maybe the guys who get the naked women tattooed are just showing that those are the only naked women they see? 

Now, its not that I don't like looking at them or seeing their reasons behind why they get that particular peace sign, smurf or sea turtle.  I hate seeing teenagers and high school students whose parents take them in and allow them to get a tattoo at fifteen or sixteen.  Where are these parents brains?   It is SO not acceptable in my old fashioned opinion. 

As a teacher I suppose I'd never want to deal with it, or having something you'd feel like you have to cover up on your body.   Being somewhat of a exhibitionist, I don't mind wearing a bikini to the pool at the ripe old age of 32.   As a teen I dressed, well briefly in the summer and still don't have much of an issue with people who wear skimpy clothes (as long as they have the figure to carry it off).    I do not want to see your muffin top, really, especially if its one of those jumbo sized muffins.   Not to be bitchy, well maybe to be bitchy.  

My husband has a homemade tattoo on his thigh (as in he did it himself) not sure of the technique but its a heart with a dagger and the faded words that would say "Who Needs Bitches"  I'm sure it was quite profound at 22 years old, but I'm not sure you can read it today. I can't say that I disagree with the subject of the tattoo because I certainly dont' need bitches, and perhaps he should relabel it to "Who needs more than one bitch."  I have to pick on him for his one tattoo. 

I suppose some of them are pretty and If I ever got one it would most definitely be on my ass, well then I wouldn't have to worry about covering it up, would I ?  But what would the point of it be?  No one would see it.  

That being said there are varying levels of artists.  So,  if you get the homemade variety on someone's living room floor and arent' happy- well it is your fault.  Don't let "Bubba Ray" with an ink gun give you a permanent stick figure.   Some people are very creative in their stupidity.  For your entertainment here is a website called: Ugliest Tattoos these tats truly are bad, and awful.  Many are explicit with adult content, so if you want to see something you've never imagined check the website out.   I enjoy peoples stupidity.  But seriously check out this website, it will keep you amused for hours.......

The Joys of Shopping

We're all consumers right?  We are Americans after all right?   So, as I sit here while my eight year old works on writing his homework out I am online window shopping and would like to promote my favorite retail therapy outlets.   Now, I'm trying to spend less, being a very good American consumer.  Well, I guess I'm not a very good consumer, I dont' believe in credit cards (they are evil and that is why this country is bankrupt).  But, I DO love a good trip to the mall.  I didn't even go to town this weekend though.  So, I stayed home, can't say I was excessively "Suzie Homemaker" but I am working on laundry.  And thanks to my consumerism, I found a couple of shirts in the laundry that I've only worn once. 

OK, well I love makeup, cosmetics,  a miracle in a jar.  Now, I hate to tell you Avon Ladies and those of you working in the "Cult of Mary Kay" - omg, I could have a whole post dedicated to the Mary Kay ladies, I once went to a MK meeting held in a (I kid you not) pink barn,  filled with "Oh Hail Mary Kay" sugary sweet over aqua-netted middle aged women.  No, I escaped the hell that is the pushers of the pink Cadillacs quickly.   I would like to point out that there IS some truth in the "You get what you pay for," mantra.   The drugstore makeup just doesn't cut it, on my super oily skin (I swear I have the skin of an eternal  15 year old).   Now, when I started using M.A.C Cosmetics, I was, floored with the results.  My war paint lasted all day long.   And the more I learned about quality cosmetics and techniques for applications, the longer it lasted.  Guess what, girls you can learn to do a pro-job yourself, without paying some makeup artist (although that is a career that would be great fun) I'd love to do wedding makeup and charge an outrageous amount for something that is so simple.   maccosmetics.com.   I became a M.A.C girl, then proceeded to Sephora (wow, I never heard of Sephora, before a few of my bad influences introduced me to this "gold mine")  Sephora.   So, if the Mary Kay company sues me for badmouthing their crazies, I want to make sure M.A.C sends me a good lawyer. 

Clothing.... you know, ladies, when you pick up those fashion magazines, there is a reason there is "Fashion Week"  - and that is for the very rich to buy clothing to look very rediculous.   Now, there is also a reason there are websites such as People of Walmart, haute coture really isn't meant to be worn for real; well the Walmart  fashion, is not Haute, or Hot... or should be worn out of the house.  Now, fashion sets trends and I see a need for a magazine like Vogue; but, seriously, come on.  I've been to concerts in Dallas where people who have too much money and too few brains try to dress like they came from Vogue and end up looking rediculous in a setting with us mortals.   Now, don't be a Walmart Peoples either, lets go for classy.   OK, so my fashion advice (and seriously don't take me too seriously- I'm a huge fan of wife beaters and Daisy Dukes in the Summer) side note: it is 110 in Oklahoma in the Summer, and I fit right in.  So, I would point you in the direction of my favorite store; Banana Republic, first of all, with my tactile sensitivities, I love their super soft shirts.  They are expensive, but they sell the BASICS.  Which is what never looks bad, unless they fit poorly.  No print shirts, nice slacks... Classy.   It never seems to be crowded, perhaps because it is a bit over priced. But unlike Dillards and Macy's I don't get sensory overload in this store (perhaps I should relabel this post "Shopping for Borderline Autistics" -  Now Autism advocates don't bash me, because I'm quite sure I'm on the spectrum...  I qualify according to the DSMIV- esp with the eye contact issues.. 

OK this is my consumerism blog.  I do love shopping, because I love shiny, pretty things, that make me feel pretty.  I guess though, given adequate funding, I enjoy shopping at yard sales and Good Will, so I'm not that picky.  So, go spend money Americans, before you are spending it all on Health Care.