So Much To Say

I have so much to say, so much to write about I dont' know where to begin, I've had all these thoughts and no where to really write them down as I've driven hours and hours through Kansas and Oklahoma the last few days.  So busy yet, at the same time when I embarked upon my little journies  and attended these workshops I had no intention of initiating that change in my life.

Yet, sitting in a hotel parking-lot in Ponca City, Oklahoma and talking it out with my husband.  Sitting in my car crying knowing that as much as it made rational sense (financially) to stay where I was just "one more year" as I've said every year for the past few years.  Knowing,  that I had some stability, yet knowing that anything in education is not certain.  It just takes one person to try to ruin your reputation or career as I'm watching happen with my High School Principal.  I know, that I must find a way out to go back to work on the goals that I need to work on.

Knowing that what we are doing as a family is not working and it seems to be failing the kids.  Knowing that I was too stressed to cook and care for my house and family, knowing that I felt like I was losing it the last couple of years, struggling to find anything to fill the gap to make the anxiety go away.  Knowing that I needed a change.  I do need a change.

So now, my world is busy and filled with my writing, pages, housework kids,  looking at future goals, learning how to manage money better.   It was so easy to overspend when I was so stressed from work.

I think it will be better... I do hope my husband realizes that he's allowed to take a day off occasionally.... sometimes I  think he forgets.  I think it will all work out.

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[Air Jordan shoes]

Happiness, I have discovered, is nearly always a rebound from hard work. (David Grayson, American journalkist)